The Anxious Traveler
Dealing With Anxiety While Traveling
Anxiety used to stop me from seeing the world. It used to keep me up all night when I had to get on a plane the next day. It used to stop me from exploring big cities. Anxiety made it so that I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t travel. Today my anxiety no longer gets the best of me. I won’t allow it. But it still manages to find its way at unexpected times.
In my most recent visit to Italy, I had a fairly smooth journey with little anxiety, but I was still not 100% free of it. I have to say, I have grown out of it, or learned how to control it, through the years to the point where I feel like a different person. But I am still that overly precautious, nervous girl that is constantly aware of her surroundings. The point of this post is to share my most recent experience with anxiety and explain how I deal with it or what I have learned from it. Hopefully this will encourage others that you don’t need to be a Type A personality in order to travel, especially by yourself.
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| The Duomo, Florence |
My First Solo Travel in Italy
This trip was eye opening, not just because I got to see parts of Italy, but also because I got to really see how I do on my own. Most of the trip ran very smoothly, other than a few minor bumps in the road. The biggest problem that I had was eating. After a bad experience with a waiter basically treating me like I was the biggest pain in the world because I had asked for a table for one, I started to avoid eating in restaurants. I realized that the hardest part about solo travel for me was eating alone. In Florence, I had experienced ruder waiters, but the area that I stayed in was nicer, so walking back alone at night was not a problem. In Rome, the area that I stayed in was deserted, making walking back something like power walking a marathon to not be left alone in the dark with the one man walking around the streets. By the end of my trip, my anxiety of eating alone and potentially being judged took over my mind and I ended up not going out to dinner. I also received so unwanted male attention while over there. Most of it was not very nerve-racking, just a whistle or a ciao bella from a safe distance. It was the time that a man followed me home that I began to get really nervous. Even with a few people on the street, the man started following me for a few blocks. Thankfully, a gelato shop appeared and I decided that in that moment I needed some gelato. When I came out he was gone. Guess I wasn’t that interesting. Other than these two minor things, my trip went very smoothly.
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| Is it me or does this lion look high? Florence, Italy |
Ways that I Dealt With Anxiety
Borderline Harassment- In the situation where I was followed, I just went into the nearest populated shop to deter my pursuer. I waited until the coast was clear, checking every possible hiding place, before taking a roundabout way back to my room. By knowing that I was in control of the situation, and that I was using careful judgment, my anxiety was minimal. It was still heightened by the threat, but at least I was not in a full blown panic attack. The situation did make me more nervous other nights as I was constantly looking over my shoulder.
Fear of Heights- I have always seemed to hate heights and this fear has stopped me from climbing some pretty majestic buildings. This trip was no different. I did not climb up the Duomo or the Campanile, but I did take an elevator to the top of Il Victoriano. My fear of missing out overruled my fear of heights in this case because I wanted to see the panoramic views of Rome. Choosing which building was a carefully thought out plan. I wanted one with a quick ascension to the top, no winding staircases that just prolong my fear. I also wanted a sturdy building, not some small tower that could cave in. Il Victoriano had both and I was able to take the glass elevator, conquering two fears in one day: elevators and heights. The view was worth all the sweats and shortness of breath. On both the rides up and down, I was able to stay as calm as I could by gripping onto the railing and distracting myself by staring at a woman’s odd hat. That and my determination not to fail helped me deal with some of by biggest fear, alone.
Be selective in who you ask directions from: I am not a fan of profiling, but when someone looks like they could crush me, I avoid asking them for directions. Instead I would choose the mom with kids, the older couple feeding the birds, or storeowners. I did not ask the street vendors or the single men ogling the women walking by. You don’t want to tell everyone where you are staying, so think of if you would feel safe if you were with that person. If the answer is a no, keep them as a last resort person to ask.
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| Try one thing that scares you Il Victoriano, Rome |
Tips for Preventing Anxiety While Traveling
Dealing with anxiety while traveling can put a damper on the entire trip. In my case, most of my anxiety is social anxiety. It is probably mixed with some paranoia, but I am currently in denial of that! Here are a few things that I did to make me feel safer and better while traveling.
Make eye contact: they say that if you make eye contact with people following you they are less likely to act on it. I have to say this really does help. By looking at them, you are telling them that you are acknowledging what they are trying to do and are more on guard. It also shows that you would be able to identify them in a lineup.
Say no: most people when visiting Italy complain about the people begging for money. What I learned is that with a simple no, most of them went away and left me alone. But make sure that you have a forceful look on your face. I have a problem where I say everything with a smile, which only encourages people more. But with an unwavering no, the trouble of people pestering you dissipates.
Know your surroundings: sometimes you just have to stop and look at a map. If you have to do this, don’t pull it out while walking and constantly look at it. In this situation, you are only focused on the map and anything could happen around you. Take a second and back yourself up against a wall so that you can see everything around you. When walking, keep the map folded in the palm of your hand and only glance at it occasionally. Memorize where you are going. This is not to say that someone is going to come and grab you at any moment. But if you are nervous about being robbed or harmed, this strategy allows you to constantly be aware and rarely distracted.
Learn the language: obviously you cannot learn the language of every place you visit, but learn key phrases that will help you in tough situations. Learn words like stop, or help. But make sure you also learn please and thank you, right and left, and make an effort to speak them. A little effort goes a long way.
If there is anything that you could take away from this post is that don’t let your fears stop you from seeing the world. If you want to see a place, go ahead and see it. Your fears shouldn’t be what’s holding you back. And if you’re like me and a little too much on the nervous side, then know that it doesn’t mean that you can’t travel.
Very well done Mimi for trying to overcome your anxiety. It mustn't be easy, especially in a country where you don't speak the language. Don't be deterred by eating out in Italy on your own. I do it all the time! Just be bold, confident, and fake it if you have to!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteThis is such an important issue to talk about. My firnd experiences the same during travels. Therefore I find it very useful to be aware of such things and always know how to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteYes, it is important to get the word out so that others understand but also so that we can support each other!
DeleteVery well explained as anxiety in new place that too for a solo traveller is quite common. Knowing language of that country atleast few words also works. Power to say No is really required as many people have convincing attitude but we cannot rely on strangers.
ReplyDeleteYes there are a lot of things that can trigger anxiety while traveling, but we learn how to deal with them or prevent them.
DeleteIt is indeed not always easy to travel, but in the end it is so rewarding. Thanks for sharing your honest post!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteWow, this was great and really inspirational. My sister is also very scared of traveling alone and having people stare etc. I will definetly show her this :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! Hopefully she can try it one day! It is scary at first but so rewarding by the end!
DeleteI think your tips to avoid anxiety should just be a general rule for everyone travelling, we all should the extra tips to ensure our safety. I also swear by using my 'resting bitch face' to intimidate people whenever I feel I'm in a risky situation. Ha.
ReplyDeleteGood job on not letting anxiety stop you from seeing the world. Go girl!
Thank you!!
DeleteI appreciate your writing about this sensitive topic although personally it does not affect me. It must help a lot of other people. The only anxiety that occasionally affects me is the one regarding my non-existent bank balance. He he
ReplyDeleteThank bank account balance is a scary thing!!
DeleteGreat topic to write about. Your observations and solutions are very practical and doable. Guess all of us are anxious when we venture out of our comfort zone. I too used to be scared of heights as well as people. But now I am not.
ReplyDeleteThank you! And congrats on conquering that fear of heights!
DeleteI am a very anxious and nervous person in general. But when I travel I become far braver. I do not know if it my curiosity that eggs me on or the fact that my dad travelled with us at a young age. Great information for travellers who suffer from anxiety
ReplyDeleteThank you! And good for you for traveling with anxiety, I think we all change a little bit in travels to adapt.
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