Recovering from Doubt with a Strange Realization


Rediscovering My Love for Paris after Discouragement

I have a problem, and its a big one. When something becomes too stressful, I tend to quit. And I don't like to let on that I do that. I quit track three times and I'm not proud. But I try to keep in mind the family motto, "when the going gets tough, the tough get going." So during my quest for the perfect, or even not so perfect, apartment, I got discouraged. Was I ever going to find something? Was it going to be up to my standards (which I don't think are that ridiculous)? How long is it going to take? So on Tuesday after visiting two apartments and hating one while like another with one major flaw, I began to feel that discouragement. Why was I trying to do this? I should be doing what I know how to do. So I decided to cheer myself up and I discovered something interesting about my love of Paris.

I never considered myself a glitz and glamor person, but I love learning about it in history. I love learning about the Russian Tzar, the decadence of Marie-Antoinette, the kings at Versailles, and the alar pieces of Italy. And I realized what they all had in common was their use of gold. I don't care about owning it, I just like visiting places that not only use it, but plaster it wherever they can. Yes the more gold the prettier. 
Opera of Paris

I discovered this while visiting the Paris Opera. I went inside to visit because I had never been and while everyone was snapping pictures of the grand staircase, I was in the room decorated with gold. And then it hit me, this is what I love about Paris. The extravagant plastering of gold mixed with the architecture of Paris, you know the creme color buildings with the dark grey roofs and large windows with cute little balconies? This is why I want to stay in Paris and this is why I need to keep going, so that I can see all the gold I want. 

To me this comes as a shock and I am sure my family might be a little bit as well. This was never my personality to like flashy things, except maybe red convertibles. I am starting to feel like Radcliffe from Disney's Pocahontas when he sings about how much he loves gold. Fortunately I am not for destroying the land of others and exploiting people in order to get my gold fix, nor do I condone it. I don't want to own it, I just want to see how pretty it is! But is nice to be able to live in a city where I can take advantage of it. 

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