Do's and Don'ts: Getting Angry

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Getting Angry to Get Ahead

If you haven't figured it out by now, Parisians can get very angry. I've already done a post about what they complain about, but when happens when that goes a little further and it turns into anger? It seems like Parisians have mastered the art of getting angry to get what they want. But leave us expats to figure it out and it never works out. So what are we doing wrong and what are they doing right to have things go their way when the situation turns sour?

Don't

Don't get angry at something that isn't fixable. It seems that in Paris, people fix things by getting mad, but sometimes things just can't be fixed. Know which things you can and cannot fix. The metro or RER being late is not something fixable. Bad customer service, while seemingly impossible to fix, can be fixed if you know how to play the game. But this game is the most complicated one you could imagine. Getting angry on something irreversible doesn't help anyone, no matter what country you're in. But sometimes getting angry about a fixable problem in France can actually solve the problem...sometimes.

Do

Know when they are taking advantage of you. Sometimes they know exactly that you don't know the system and will charge you extra or make it even harder. For example restaurants give Asian tourists a different menu, which is usually twice the price. So sometimes doing research ahead of time will give you and idea of what to expect in order to stop them. Sometimes the French system just sucks and there's no use in getting angry. Frustrated I can understand, but not angry. And if they do take advantage of you, go ahead and get angry.

Don't

Don't swear just to swear. I completely understand this one. One way that we show anger is by using some bad words. But sometimes those bad words don't get us anywhere. So by listing off every swear word you know will neither impress the person nor will it solve your problem. Dropping a few swear words here in there can be ok depending on the situation (not the elderly) but don't overdo it.

Do

Do know which insults to throw. It seems like the magic trick in Paris to get things moving is by throwing some insults. Don't insult their mothers or anything, but calling them a stupid head might work. But you really need to know which is appropriate for the situation, which is why I avoid it because I'm not comfortable with it and because I don't know which to use. But once you've been here for a while, you start to learn. And it seems that throwing some insults is a must to get the job done.

Don't

Don't use tears. I'm not saying that the French are heartless, they just don't show as many emotions as Americans do over things. So crying to a banker just makes you look like a child rather than someone that they legitimately want to help. I've tried this one and all it got me was even more impatience from the banker. A sob story every now and then, but don't bust out the waterworks, it will create the opposite reaction than you're intending.

Do

Do enlist the help of a French person. While of the tips that I listed will help you out, it's like bringing a knife to a gunfight. They're never going to be enough until you've lived in this country for 20+ years. So by making friends with French people, they can help you navigate the system to make sure that you're not getting taken advantage of and that you get everything that you have the right to. It seems that they're really good at omitting information that would be helpful. So by making friends that knows the system, you're more likely to get ahead. And they know exactly how to get angry for your benefit.