Funny Advice and Quotes


Getting Laughs from Quotes and Advice About Travel

I little thing that I like to do while planning out my next blog posts is researching travel advice or quotes. Sometimes they'll spark some inspiration. Well, through the months, I've come across quite a few funny bits of advice and quotes. Some have inspired blog posts, others have just given me a good laugh. So without further ado, here are some of the funniest things that I've read about travel.


When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money. -- Susan Heller

If at some point you don't ask yourself "what have I gotten myself into?" then you're not doing it right. -- Roland Gau

I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. -- Mark Twain

View of Sacre Coeur in the Parisian Streets


Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror. -- Al Boliska

I've been to almost as many places as my luggage. -- Bob Hope

Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else. -- Lawrence Block

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. -- Russell Baker

People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take people thirty years, a bunch of people used to die on the way there, have a baby, you would end up with a whole different group of people by the time you got there. Now you watch a movie and [go to the toilet] and you're home. -- Louis C.K.

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. -- Al Gore

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries. -- Aldous Huxley

People come back from flights and tell you a story like its a horror story. They act like their flight was a cattle car in the 1940s in Germany. That's how bad they make it sound. They're like "it was the worst day of my life. We didn't board for 20 minutes and then they made us sit there on the runway for 40 minutes." Oh really, what happened next? Did you fly in the air, incredibly, like a bird? Did you partake in the miracle of human flight you non-contributing zero? -- Louis C.K.

There's nothing American tourists like more than things they can get at home. -- Stephen Colbert

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